Are you a Valentine’s Day procrastinator?

Shame on you! But it’s not too late…

The Beehive in the South End is hosting their first-ever Annual Love Ball — welcome to (according to the press release) all singles, couples and swingers! Sounds like something for everyone! The event does not require reservations (good for you procrastinators) and takes place from 10pm to 2am, with no cover charge and a cash bar.

The press release includes the followoing details:

“…Get ready Boston! This Valentines Day the Beehive in Boston’s South End will present their First Annual Love Ball; a night of lascivious fun for all you devilish lovers out there! The Beehive will be playing matchmaker to you and yours with your love happy host and cruise director for the evening, Ryan Landry; star of the upcoming TV reality series Showgirls!

Throughout the evening our luscious band of lovers will be distributing numbers and collecting anonymous Valentine’s to and from all of the prospective paramours and mysterious vamps in attendance! How it works: Love seekers will receive numbers upon entry allowing attendees to send anonymous messages to those they like, love, or lust! As the game unfolds, identities will be revealed, and matches will be made; building up to the glorious crescendo at midnight when the King and Queen of the First Annual Love Ball will be crowned!

But wait, there’s more! All the while, the food will delight, the liquor will flow and the Love Ball Unlimited Orchestra will play on as that Mac Daddy of Soul, Ron Murphy presents the “between the sheets” music of the original love king himself, Barry White!!! Obviously, Mr. White cannot attend, but Mr. Murphy’s velvet baritone “Ain’t Never Never Gonna Give You Up!” Why? … “‘cuz quitting just ain’t his shtick!” Talk about your Luxury Liners!

Come early and enjoy Chef Rebecca Newell’s enticing “Fondue for Two” menu [this is where Boston Food & Whine’s interest got piqued] consisting of three courses of cheese fondue with fresh fruit and brioche, a special beef bourgogne fondue, and rounding out the trio, the Beehive ‘s Chocolate Fondue made with 100% Belgian Callebaut Chocolates served with Oreo’s, graham cracker, almond biscotti miniature marshmallows and fresh strawberries! With a spread like this you’re sure to be the envy of the Captain’s Table ($80)!

Consider yourself warned; from the bar, the Beehive’s Love Potions will put the spring back in your Aphro-dees-i-ack! These concoctions include several oyster laden “lovely’s” and a very special tonic we call “Behind the Green Door!” The Ingredients are secret, but we are legally obliged to inform you that they do include: Mumm Napa, Absinthe and fresh strawberries ($10).

This is it kids! The Valentine’s Day Event that Boston has been praying for! So don’t be stupid Cupid! Why sink your ship at home? It’s Valentine’s Day for Cripes Sakes! Come aboard the Beehive’s Love Ball and you just might wake up Friday morning with more than a hangover! …”

Come on… a night of love (or swinging), fondue and the mystical (and until recently illegal) Absinthe. Who could ask for more?!

If this doesn’t float your boat and you just want a quiet evening with the one you love and some good Vietnamese cuisine, then head over to Pho Republique (also in the South End) and order one of their special Valentine’s Day menu items… Such as Pu Pu for 2 (an no, this has nothing to do with the potty for you parent’s of toddlers).

“… which includes a chef selection of delectable & romantic small bites including My Heart Beets Salad (hearts of palm, hearts of bamboo, beets & butter lettuce), Oysters with Ginger-Lime Mignonette, and Sweet & Spicy Peking Duck Roll to name a few...”

Or how about “…the Steamy Whole Fish for 2 – (whole fish steamed in banana leaves with Thai Basil & Panang Curry).Thinking of something that’s a bit more beefy? Why not try the Grilled Teriyaki Beef Tenderloin with Sugar Snap Pea Fried Rice…”

Still unsure? Boston.com has a list of restaurants for dining, dancing and debauchery on Valentine’s Day. You’re bound to find something.

When all is said and done, let me know where you decided to go. I’m anxious to hear how the V-day menus size up around town. Keep in mind, that special event’s menus (such as those served on V-Day and during Restaurant Week) aren’t always as good as the standard menu. It’s all about quantity on those nights… not necessarily quality. So pick a place you trust!